Please pick 1 post size.

mattressblowoutsale:

the cashier gave me the most condescending look when I took this

hallelujah-youngandloaded:

high ambitions for such a young girl

Someone: can I use your computer for a second
Me: what do you need I'll look it up for you

tsarbucks:

no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit

kinglers:

dont you hate when the wind is going in the opposite direction than the direction your bangs go

doctorpurnell:

when people send me kind messages

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neon-vagina:

bigeisamazing:

ronaldreagay:

laughing cow cheese huh?
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I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH

you don’t kill a cow

to make cheese

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this is literally my favorite

shingekinokyojinheaven:

opticallyaroused:

Ladies, and gentlemen, this is the captain. If you look out the right side of the aircraft you will notice flight 195 challenging us to a race.

please put on your seat belts because it’s about to get raw as hell up in this bitch *sound of plane diving*

nitrogeek:

backstage scott pilgrim